Written by Martin Allen (7:30) and Jonathan Harvey (8:30), directed by Stuart Davids
Ken’s not doing so well with his crossword, or his eyesight seeing as he’s got many words spelled incorrectly but he does try hard I suppose. Regardless, his afternoon of crosswords and classical music gets deflated by the chatter and cackles of Deirdre and Liz. It appears that Deirdre’s planned a BBQ for Blanche’s homecoming. Ken finds Jason in the Rovers later and tells him about his loft-conversion plan. You know, the one that Deirdre dismissed already. Jason tells him that the conversion could take three months provided there’s no problems and it’s something he could do.
Oh look, the Amy 2.0 is already on our screens as she attends Blanche’s homecoming BBQ. Peter goes to pick up Blanche from the airport since Deirdre thinks Ken has been drinking too much and shouldn’t go. Ken tries to go with Peter but Deirdre drags him back in to sort out items for the party, much to his chagrin. As the party prep is going on, Jason stops by and mentions that he’d like to measure up the loft to Deidre’s shock. Deirdre reams Ken out for being so desperate to get away from her that he has to ring a builder in the day her mum’s due back. Peter returns from the airport and tells all that Blanche wasn’t on the plane. There’s not another flight in until tomorrow and Ken offers to phone the place where she’s staying to see if they know what’s going on. He phones Portugal and speaks to May’s son who tells him some devastating news that he then has to tell Deidre: Blanche’s dead. Deirdre is in shock and Ken can’t tell her details, only that she was found dead this morning – in her sleep. Apparently May left Portugal over a month ago and now Deirdre is confused as to who her mother’s been staying with. She takes a moment as Ken tells Peter. Peter tells Leanne that Blanche has died and to take Simon back to the flat and Amy back to the pub. May arrives and reckons that Deirdre is the double of Blanche, and it’s like looking at a corpse! May tells them that Blanche had bigger fish to fry than taking care of her – a fish called Arnold. Over at the Rovers everyone’s gotten the news and they raise their glasses “to Blanche.” Not only had Blanche had a lover, but he was also her fiance. She couldn’t wait to get back home and tell all and that Blanche was the nicest person she’d ever met. Peter wonders if she’s sure she’s got the right person. Deirdre tells Ken she wants to go to Portugal to see her mum and to see where it happened and this Arnold. Ken goes to warm up the laptop. Bags packed, Deirdre asks Peter how Simon took the news to find he was devastated.
Norris is fast asleep in his room at the cottage with the dresser firmly pressed against the door perchance Mary happen to sleep walk. I find it funny that Norris is incapacitated with his twisted ankle yet can move that dresser again. His little booby-trap didn’t work since Mary managed to burst her way through, despite the dresser, with Norris’ breakfast tray. Mary asks about the furniture against the door and Norris tells her that the door was banging in the night. He goes to grab his eyeglasses, but Mary shoves them aside. Norris insists on getting an x-ray for his ankle again and Mary decides to play doctor and examine it herself. After Mary gives Norris’ legs a good up-and-down he tells her he doesn’t need an x-ray after all. Mary “accidentally” knocks Norris’ eyeglasses off the bedside table and then conveniently steps on them shattering the lenses. Norris isn’t comforted when Mary tells him that she’ll be his eyes from now on.
Mary brings up the notion of her and Norris having a home of their own one day and as soon as Norris dismisses it, she gets angry so he submits. Norris tells her that he’s got two failed marriages behind him and needs more time to, er, contemplate this. Norris is scared bloody stiff of Mary at this point and will say anything to make her happy. Mary says he wouldn’t be the first to reject her if he said no, since her mother rejected her in the end but she made her pay. Norris dared as how, but Mary changed the subject to salmon nicoise. Mary lets it slip that her mother got it into her head that Mary was trying to poison her at one point and Norris is took aback. She figures her mother thought she was poisoning her for revenge for holding Mary back and extinguishing her youth. As Mary turns her back, Norris changes their plates for fear she’s poisoning him! As she digs into her meal, she suddenly begins to choke and spits out an anchovy claiming she’s allergic to them and she gave him all the anchovies. She realizes he swapped the plates and turns into Mr. Hyde demanding to know why he did that. She asks Norris if he thinks she’s trying to kill her. Norris tells her that he just didn’t like salad with fish in it – it makes him queasy. Mary tells him that’s wonderful since she doesn’t like them either – something else they have in common. I’m pretty sure Norris would rather be locked in John’s Gran’s attic at this point.
As Norris sits alone helplessly in the kitchen he can overhear Mary talking to someone upstairs on the phone and wonders who. He manages to hobble up the stairs and opens Mary’s door a crack to see her talking to a photo of her mother on her dresser and rolls his eyes thinking she’s lost it. As he tries to walk away the floor boards creak and Mary comes out of her room with a hands-free headset and accuses her of talking to her mother’s photograph but she says she was on the phone. Norris gets angry at her for not telling him there was another working phone line but she ignores him and says they should start making tea. As Mary reminisces about her days in Spain, Norris steals away upstairs to her phone. Norris blindly searches for Mary’s phone in her room and freaks out when he sees a wedding dress on a dress form. Oh, I laughed so hard at that little surprise. Norris finds the phone and dials 999 claiming to be held hostage, but Mary overhears and makes her way upstairs. He tells her he’s phoned the police and Mary is shocked. Norris calls her a fruitbat and wonders how she could be on the phone to her mother when she’s dead. Mary tells Norris she’s fallen in love with him and he makes it clear that the feeling isn’t mutual. She tries to stop him from leaving, so Norris slashes vase water in her face and hobbles away just as the police arrive. Norris tells the police that Mary tried to kill him as she did her mother and Mary tells Norris that her mother is alive and well. The police suggest they go to the station and they clearly don’t feel as alarmed as Norris does. Rita is waiting for Norris in the police station and explains to her what’s happened over a cuppa.
Morning at the Platt household and Graeme is well moved in, ironing his jeans in the kitchen. It just occurred to me that I hardly ever see Graeme without his cap on now noticing his bed-head. Another Corrie man ironing, I might add. Natasha and Nick come downstairs and Graeme asks what they’re doing on the bank holiday and Nick disappoints by saying he has to go into work.
Graeme goes to see Tina for his daily visit with some food, but she’s just as rude as usual. Graeme tells her about his day, and she seems to be following it. He suggests that he could run her a bath and she took that to meant she smelled. She looks like she smells. Meanwhile, Jason’s estate agent has someone lined up to view the flat only he doesn’t want to face Tina. Sean tells him the sooner he sells the flat the sooner he’s going to be able to move on. Only, we know it won’t be that simple. Jason stops by the flat with the interested buyers and can’t use his key. He rings, and Graeme walks out saying he’s got a key for watering Tina’s plants and Jason demands the key since he owns the flat. Graeme says he’s locked the keys in the flat by accident and the interested party says they’ll come back another time – like never. Later in the pub Jason grills Graeme as to Tina’s whereabouts and why she changed the locks. Graeme claims ignorance but says he can talk to her about getting him a key.
Steve and Becky have an appointment with a social worker this Friday for an interview and Becky is scared at the thought. Becky is suspicious of the social worker telling Steve that she knows these people and they don’t do anything without a reason. The reason being that you applied for adoption and this is part of the process. That part seemed to be lost on Becky. Steve can’t bring himself to tell Amy about Blanche.
Trev tells Ashley in the Rovers how he’s got four tickets now to the World Cup that he needs to unload since the other guys told their wives about them. After some careful consideration Ashley and Steve try to buy two of Trev’s tickets, but he tells them it’s four or none.
- David teasing Nick by calling him “Nicky” again and the look on Nick’s face.
- Norris exchanging his and Mary’s dinner plates when she turns her back for fear he’s poisoned him!
- The razzing going on between Nick, Graeme and David.
- Mary’s “sensationalist” aside and the soundtrack to go with!
- Liz, Deirdre, Ken and Peter reminiscing about Blanche.
- May was great. After seeing her I really wished we could have seen more of the 1 O’Clock Club!
- Why is Graeme ironing jeans? Who irons jeans?
- Mary’s absolutely nutters, but yet I feel so sorry for her. Maybe that’s just because I have a controlling mother, or Patti Claire could just be a good actress. Little from column A, little from column B?
- More continued rudeness and ungratefulness from Tina towards Graeme. When is she going to stop acting like an abused dog?
- Why is Ken so preoccupied with going against Deirdre and getting that loft conversion? Is he really that hard-up for some personal space? If he wants somewhere to doze away in daydreams and dribble away crosswords to classical music he can buy an ipod and go to the library! Certainly cheaper.
- Oh, my heart breaks for poor Deirdre – and the rest of the family of course.
Overall Episode Review: 8/10
Drama: 8/10, Humour: 8/10, Classic Corrie: 9/10, Wow Factor: 10/10