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There was sad news this week as the Barlows waited for Blanche to return from Portugal only to find out that Blanche has died. Blanche’s friend May Pen, her with the gay son who won Best of Show in Crufts, comes to break the bad news to Deirdre and Ken as she helps herself to their bottle of best brandy. May reveals that Blanche had found herself a fella in that Portugal, a chap by the name of Arnold who’d proposed marriage to Mrs Hunt, and she’d accepted. This is shock news to Deirdre, who’s grieving over the news of her mum’s death, it doesn’t sound like Blanche at all, not from the way May’s describing how lovely a person Blanche was. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same person?” asks Peter, bewildered. “With the sun on her specs and the breeze in her slacks, she was a different person, Dee Dee” replies May. There’s tears, as you’ d imagine, and Ken and Deirdre set off for Portugal to pay their respects, bring their mother home and have a word with this Arnold bloke.
Audrey’s loved up as Lewis stays over and her post-coital glow lights up Grasmere Drive the morning after her dirty night before. But Lewis isn’t as charming as he seems. Rita’s on to him already, she’s worried he’s going to break Audrey’s heart and no doubt, the lady will be right as Rita always is. When Lewis tells Audrey he can’t make a date with her because of his escort work with some lonely old biddy, he tells her he’ll come round for breakfast instead. “I’ll warm the croissants, you warm the bed.” Croissants, indeed, and at her age, too.
Over the hills and far away in Yorkshire, dirty deeds are afoot. Mary’s got Norris imprisoned in the cottage. First off, she tells him the motorhome won’t start (it will but she’s hiding a vital engine part on her person). He tries to go walking but Mary’s taken his boot laces and he tries to ring Rita but Mary’s cut the phone cord, he reaches for his glasses but Mary smashes them up so Norris can’t see. Anyway, when he finally does run away, he trips and falls and ends up holed up in the cottage with his leg bandaged, up on a cushion as Mary fusses this way and that and muses about married life as Mrs Cole. It’s too much for Norris to take and when he overhears her talking to a picture of her dead mum, he calls the cops from a mystery phone that Mary had kept to herself. The cops arrive, take Norris to the station and Mary in for questioning. Rita’s at the station waiting to pick up Norris and hear all his news.
At the Windasses, David leads Anna and Eddie to Gary and he comes back home, telling his mum he’s a coward for going AWOL. Eddie rings the army and a big fella in a uniform and bad mood comes to collect Gary to take him back to camp. Gary was going to return anyway, but Eddie says he was just giving his son a push.
Nick and Natasha finally get together this week despite viewers up and down the country knowing she could do better and he could do with a haircut and probably a slap about the chops. Graeme moves into the Platts this week and does his back in when he sleeps on the sofa.
Graeme also saves Tina this week when she faints in the butcher shop. He makes her some sweet tea but when he goes to give it to her, she’s gone and done a runner. He spies her later through the window of her flat, using his window cleaning ladder, and she’s fainted again so he kicks in the door and feeds her tinned soup. And then he makes it his mission to make Tina better with the help of sausage butties fresh from Roy’s Rolls. What a hero.
And finally this week, as the Weatherfield Gazette shouted from its headline: “Hopes Fade for Missing Kitten”, we can only suspect the worst. Just look what happened to Maxine’s pussy.
Coronation Street writers this week were David Lane, Jan McVerry, Mark Wadlow, Debbie Oates, Martin Allen and Jonathan Harvey. Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team.
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