Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. I’m still on jury service this week so the update has to be quick and easy as I take my place in court within the hour in what’s probably the most grown-up thing I’ve ever done in my life. But anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
Freda and freesias arrive at Emily’s front door and Emily’s over the moon to see her niece again. Fortunately for Freda, she can turn her deaf ear to drown out Norris complaining about Ramsay chatting up her aunt but she and Norris then form an unlikely alliance against Ramsay. Freda’s got a nasty streak in her, she hasn’t been at Emily’s for 10 minutes before she’s dissing Ramsay, someone she’s only just met and whom Emily is clearly fond of. Norris of course is lapping up Freda’s every evil last word.
“Jump! Jump!” we yelled at the telly in our house when Claire was up on the roof at th’ospickle. Oh go on, you know you said it too. And when she showed no signs of jumping. we yelled out to Ashley “Push! Push!” Claire wants Ashley to have a vasectomy as she’s so scared of getting pregnant again in case the postnatal depression sends her over the edge like it did when she had little Freddie. Ashley gowns up and goes private but when he sees the knife looming towards him, does a runner and gets laughed at. He hasn’t told Claire he hasn’t had the snip though, she thinks he’s had it done and is now waiting for th’ospickle to send her his bits that she can keep with his balls in her handbag.
At Underworld, Rosie wants to create her own line of lingerie and decides she can’t go wrong with a thong although Messrs Strong and Gordon clearly disagree.
Joe’s begging Graeme to get him more pills but Graeme won’t oblige and Joe’s stranded up pill creek without a paddle. David finds out what’s going on and nicks Joe’s pills so he can sell them back to him at £100 a pop. I want this story to be over and I want Gail to smile again.
In the course of a sentence, a future storyline of Corrie spun and changed over a café table at Roy’s. Eileen goes: “Ooh, I’ve got twelve thousand pounds I never knew I had from my dad’s shares and by eckersyerlike, isn’t number 12 Coronation Street up for sale?” And so it came to pass that Jason and Tina decide to buy No. 12, do it up and sell it and Eileen will give them some cash.
Barry and Helen are thrown out over at Maria’s when Tony warns them about staying away from Maria and baby Liam, whose got the sleek, black Connor hairdo already. Maria is so annoying, I could slap her but you know, it’s a television screen and I’d just hurt my hand.
Jason Grimshaw joins a new football team this week when invited by Leon, Sean’s new friend. Jason’s the only one who doesn’t know it’s a gay football team and thinks Leon’s being friendly, not flirtatious. Even Eileen knows that her son’s playing for the other side but she’s too wrapped up watching Clout singing Substitute on You Tube. “They were the Spice Girls of their day,” she tells Tina. No they weren’t, I replied, not that I was asked, but there's no denying it's a cracking song.
Over at the pub, Slug warns Becky to be careful and look out for herself. He doesn’t mention DC Hooch or planted drugs and perhaps he should’ve done, he was being too subtle and Becky’s not too bright. Steve rings the register office and books their wedding, again, for two weeks’ time. He asks Lloyd to be his best man and hopes that Liz will make it back from Spain. Lloyd hopes so too.
And finally, Chesney’s fed up. He calls Fiz “a stupid cow”, flings a beer can at Eddie Windass and throws his new trainers around the house as they’re “uber-minging to the max”. Well, it’s the lad’s birthday, his mum’s forgotten and his sister’s bought him the wrong size shoes and all she cares about is stupid Stape in prison. Give the lad a break.
Best scene of the week for this Corrie fan was Gail doing low-impact aerobics with packets of frozen peas on her legs. Wonderful stuff, I’m going to give it a try now.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Find out more about these Coronation Street Weekly Updates.
Coronation Street writers this week were Debbie Oates, Martin Allen, Carmel Morgan, Peter Whalley and Jonathan Harvey.
Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/
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